IF SPITZER RESIGNS, the lieutenant governor (let's call him the governor-in-waiting, for funsies), David Paterson, would be
(1) the first black governor of New York
(2) BLIND!!!
!!!
I'm so excited I can hardly type. Spitzer! Spitzer! Spitzer! Out! Out! Out! Lt. Govey Paterson lives in Harlem with his wife and two children. What do you want to bet he doesn't waste thousands of dollars in prostitutes every few weeks?
5 comments:
"What do you want to bet he doesn't waste thousands of dollars in prostitutes every few weeks?"
You are ON! This isn't a fair bet, Ciara...For obvious reasons, blind people are far less discerning when it comes to the physical features of their prostitutes. As long as the whore has a Brazilian wax and isn't suffocatingly obese, it probably doesn't matter what she looks like to Patterson.
Lest you think to yourself "Poor Blind David Patterson can be physically satisfied by any $50 whore, thus saving the citizens of New York thousands per 'transaction". However, this logic is skewed and just the opposite is true:
Because of Patterson's sight impairment, his ascent to the gubernatorial seat will actually cost the Citizen's of New York millions more if he succumbs to the lure of prostitution. The sight impaired likely invest more in a prostitutes companionship, personality ,intelligence, wit and personal demeanor. It doesn't take a whiz to understand that simple "supply and demand" whorenomics places a stiff financial premium on a whore's personality. That is why Julia Roberts was paid millions to make "Pretty Woman" and Cherry Cheeks was only paid $300 to film three hours of "money shot" scenes in "Pretty Anal Woman".
Finding a whore that can meet these high social standards will be far more costly. Developing a personal relationship with an intellectual, charming, personable whore will take weeks of wining and dining, endless discussions of Kirkegard and spirituality, at least a few trips to the symphony...We are takling tens of thousands of taxpayer's dollars all for a standard single blowjob.
Unless you are voluntaring to do some 'pro-bono' whoring, Ciara, I urge you to reconsider your stance on Patterson. The good people of New York simply cannot afdord Patterson's costly "leadership".
Whoa! Ciara got schooled. I stand corrected. Paterson! Paterson! Paterson! Out! Out! Out!
But don't you think maybe, just maybe, he'd be more satisfied with just his wife to the exclusion of prostitutes (unlike you, Ari)?
If representing the under-privelaged in courts of justice so that their Constitutional rights may be protected is prostitution than Ciara, my dear, I am guilty of soliciting prostitution
If fighting for the civil rights of my fellow citizens who have been "wronged" by our system is prostitution, then I agree...I am guilty of being a john!
If protecting the under-represented from racial discrimination, economic injustice and harassment is whore-mongering than I may just be the biggest whore-mongerer on the planet. I am a whore for justice and civil rights!
AND if soliciting woman to perform fellatio on me in exchange for currency, costume jewelery or in-kind services is "engaging in prostitution" than maybe, just maybe, I am guilty of prostitution.
To take what Ciara said further, let's give Mrs. Patterson some creative credit. Lets assume Mr. P does in fact tire of monogamy, she could simply pretend to be myriad other women!
Whoa. Buuuurn, Ari. Thanks, Cat! I like that even better. She could pocket the money and buy herself a Porsche ("Why no, dear, I'm still drivingthe hatchback. Why do you ask?").
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