IF YOU HAD to be any superhero, who would it be? I think the answer says more about a person than anything else. The real challenge of picking your superhero is not just choosing which traits you'd want, but- more subtly- seeing the downside of the traits you might not want.
Superman, for example, is a perennial favorite. But some things you might not want to know. Would you really get a lot out of x-ray vision? Wouldn't you then be compelled to scan your friends for cancer on a regular basis? You'd attract nothing but hypochondriac friends. Mothers whose children had fallen out of trees would constantly be knocking on your door, asking you to give little Martha 'just a glimpse' to save them the time and expense of an emergency room visit. If something else was wrong with little Martha which you didn't detect, you could get sued for malpractice, despite the fact that you're Superman and not a licensed medical doctor.
It helps to have superhuman skills. You wouldn't want to be, say, the Question or Batman, merely relying on a series of mechanical devices which would inevitably get stolen by Proctor & Gamble and mass marketed around the world, or at least to the US military. Having a secret identity and independent wealth is key; you need to be able to turn off your superhero identity when you want to catch a break. Mind-control offers interesting potential scenarios but again, there are some things I think you just wouldn't want to know. People would stop buying you birthday presents on the excuse that you always ruin the surprise. Eventually no one would want to hang out with you. Dating would be right out of the question.
I would choose the Flash, myself. I hate airplanes and I think it would, in fact, be very difficult to find a downside to super speed. Plus I like the little earwings on the costume. Is 'earwings' a real word?
9 comments:
Simple:
Spectreman...my childhood hero!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ec9d0HdCtrw
Ah, another fine Rosenfeld production! Did you notice that Morley Rosenfeld is the assistant to the producer, Richard Rosenfeld? Why am I not surprised? "Ari IS...SPECTREmaaaaan!"
Those evil monkeys in the opening sequence look like someone's parents.
Ohhh. I dig this topic. It warms the cockles of my geek nether-regions. I will ponder in the camel-cave and return.
In the meantime do earwings, like on the flash and captain america, trump ankle wings like those on the sub-mariner.
1. None of us wants to know anything more about your nether-regions of geekdom. I'm already dry-heaving.
2. Earwings trump ankle wings hands down! Ankle wings are justa ripoff from Mercury. Earwings are what happens when an earwig sexes up an earring. Much, much cooler.
3. "By day, Omar is a mild-mannered Jordanian. By night, he IS... CAMELmaaaaaan!" (with apologies to Spectreman).
Today's dry heaving brought to you by El Camello Volador!
Well, that may not be my superhero name but it would definitely be my Mexican luchadore's alter ego.
I think I would go with Nova as my pick of the moment as to which superhero to be. You get interstellar travel, ray beams, a cool centurion-like helmet and this voice in your head to keep you going. But most importantly, you get space-babes. Yes enough space-babes to make Captain Kirk look a virgin.
And to think, I've been fighting lucha libre for years without coming up against the Flying Camel. I fight under La Novia Regana, myself.
That's because you never see El Camello Volador coming. All you hear is the battle cry "Desde la tercera, es el camello voldaore!" ring throughout the air, and then, the sweet embrace of darkness overcomes you.
So what is the killer move de la Novia Regana? The nagging nipple twister? (regana does mean "nag", right?) I'm still trying to get the Camel Clutch back from the Iron Sheikh.
The Camel Clutch? I thought your signature move was the Camel Toe. Huh. Shows what I know. And yes, la Novia Regana (I can't find my n-tilde button) asusta sus opositores con el Grito de la Muerte y use la Mirada de la Verguenza as a ranged weapon. Los luchadores tremble before la tecnica and she is spoken about only in hushed, sobbed whispers in frightened huddles the after fights. !Que lastima por los luchadores qui attaquen la Regina de las Luchadoras, la Novia Regana!
Y, Omar, por que tu hablas espanol cuando tu eres un hombre de Medio-Este? Cuantas idiomas tu hablas?
Alas I really no longer speak Spanish anymore. I used to back in junior high but have sadly forgotten most of what I learned.
Mais, en ce moment, je parle Francais, Anglais et l'Arabe. Je peux comprendre le Japanois mais il faut que tu parles tres lentement.
And who says I'm a middle easterner. This pasty white skin is the greatest cover of all time :)
Oh yeah and my spelling in French is as bad as my English.
Post a Comment