Thursday, March 27, 2008


THE CREATOR OF the Egg McMuffin died today, and I think a moment of silence is called for.


Wait for it.


Wait for it...


Done! It's a shame, really, for though I haven't eaten at a McDonald's in ten years or more, I have a certain fondness for the ubiquitous breakfast. Any morning meal in my house that includes an english muffin (or 'mo-mo', as we call them), egg, and slice of cheese is an Egg McMuffin (as in, "I'm makin' eggs; you want bacon on your McMuffin?"). I was reading the article- because my time really is that valuable- and was struck by the sentence: "Peterson came up with idea for the signature McDonald's breakfast item in 1972". 1972. 1972!


That means that a world used to exist in which there were no McMuffins, a world inhabited by my actual parents. No color TV. No Bob Saget. No Egg McMuffins. It's a wonder they survived.


It would be nice, I think, to live in a world without those things. A world with screen doors and packs of neighborhood kids roaming wild until sunset, a world of pies cooling on windowsills and Victory Gardens.


In other news, my favorite plant, Sweet Woodruff, has just come into season. It's a hideously ugly spiky little shrub, but the smell... the smell! I want hundreds of these things lining my balcony, preferably out of sight, so's that scent can just impregnate the bricks. Feel free to send me as many of these plants as you can, by post, dog cart, autogyro, whatever. Or you could just leave one on my doorstep next to a flaming bag of dog poop, ring the bell and run away. Whatever makes you happy.

5 comments:

Cameltrooper said...

I think I need to gorge myself in honor of Mr McMuffin's passing.

CFN said...

It's DR. McMuffin to you!!!!

Cameltrooper said...

Do you think Dr McMuffin was proud of the McGriddle or is that delicacy more like his red-headed step child?

CFN said...

Tough call... hmmm. The McGriddle is so inelegant, what with the dopio pancakes and hard, weird implanted syrup bombs, plus egg, plus cheese, that I'd like to think Dr. McMuffin shook his head in ineffable sorrow when it was introduced. Wouldn't the McGriddle be direct competition to the McMuffin? How can one hope to improve on perfection?

CFN said...

Uh oh. Apparently, according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, it's McGriddles, not McGriddle.

I have no idea why this would be.

Is it because there are two pancakces? Because no one can eat just one? Because it adds countless inches to your heinie?

Anyways, the classic McGriddles is "bacon, egg, and cheese served on a small pancake injected with maple flavoring deep inside its griddle folds," according to Das Wik. Deep inside its griddle folds. Doesn't that sounds at once totally naughty and hideously replusive?

Apparently, you can get your McGriddle- sorry, McGriddles- as a variant, should you tire of your standard McChoices: it can come with sausage/egg/cheese, sausage only, or chicken/cheese. Apparently this last one is available only in the Southeast, but I have never seen it. Of course, I don't go to MacDo, so that's probably why. I have certainly seen many, many people walking around the mall who certainly appear to be 90% chicken-and-cheese McGriddle. Sorry, McGriddles!