COMFORT? THERE'S NOTHING like a good pair of socks. Or ugly-ass red sweatpants. Or my new blue t-shirt. Cleaned house? Check. You can't relax in a dirty house, it's against the law. A longneck beer? Check. A new book? Check and double-check.

To achieve zen- and I mean real zen here, not just 'happiness'- I need a made bed, one (sometimes two, but never more) chocolates, a good book, and comfy clothes. I have to feel a creeping, cloying sleepiness. It helps if there's a bedside glass of water. My handsome boyfriend is out of town, and there's no way to sleep without him without all this setup.

The very, very finest part of this setup is knowing it's waiting right now in the other room. I'm just trying to hold off the moment of running down the hall and jumping on the bed. Wait for it.

Wait for it...