IT'S THE BIG day! You're excited, I'm excited- hey, who isn't getting their panties in a bunch today? Oh, you know what I'm talking about: watching the results of the Pennsylvania democratic primaries roll in! Can you stand it?!

The deal, or so I understand it, is that Hilary either wins this one or walks away a loser. Even if she wins, she has to win by more than fifty delegate votes just to stay in the game in a real way; tough, when she's polling lower every day. I was a Hilary fan before I was an Obama fan. I hate to see her like this. At the same time, Obama just seems... well, like he could win. That means a lot to me right about now.

I'm not in any way dismissing the Ron Paul enthusiasts. In fact, bless their little cotton socks. I like his spray-painted signs and presidential hair. I like libertarians. In general, they tend to be sexier than most people. But I don't see Ron Paul walking away with this one, I really don't. John McCain is not clever and a Republican (redundant). Hilary is unlikeable. Obama rhymes with Osama. Everyone's got their problems.

I ride my bike to work (and everywhere else, since my car battery died at work and my Honda is now gracefully reposing there in ghetto splendor), open the windows instead of using heat and air, and try to grow my own food in a small, one-zucchini-a-week kind of way. I don't care about gas prices and have given it up as a bad job. This is my professional opinion as a geologist/economist, you understand, not just navel-gazing; total oil supply slowly going down, demand remaining high or rising, prices will simply go up (along with profits, since it's not that much more expensive to get it out of the ground) until there's no more oil, which I give ten to twenty years. I'd draw you a graph, but... yeah. You don't care.

At any rate, I'd like to see gay people living in as much official misery every other married couple. I don't want 16-year-old girls to go to back alley coat hanger services because they can't get legal abortions. I'd like someone to, oh- I don't know- raise funding for schools. Maybe teach a little sex ed so that the question of coat hangers can be avoided entirely. Good bike paths. Health care for all kids. And that's it.

And even though I said I wouldn't, too bad: